Shades of Similarities Bind, PG-13, PATD/CS, Gabe/Spencer

[wishfulclicking]

Title: Shades of Similarities Bind
Rating: PG-13, some minor language
Pairing: Gabe/Spencer, Brendon/Spencer (past), other background ones
Word Count: 2750
Bands: PATD, Cobra Starship
Summary: Spencer meets someone on tour.
A/N: This is an AU where Cobra Starship does not exist. It was written for super_bandom challenge featuring kind of rare pairs. So much thanks to awkwardlurker  for looking over this for me and catching my mistakes. Any other ones you find are solely on me.

25 Days by Hello Saferide is a song that sort of goes with this story.




The first time they meet is an accident.

Spencer's been searching for pre-show activities since he's realized the amount of time he was around Brendon was inversely related to how good he felt. There was no refuge: they were on tour, they lived in a cramped bus, he'd promised Ryan the band would not get fucked, he'd thought he could handle it. It turns out that he can't handle it well. He can't deal with seeing Brendon every morning and not being able to touch him the way he wants, the forced closeness for interviews and photo shoots, all the sympathetic looks Ryan and Jon shoot him, and he hates the crooked smiles he forces himself to return. He should have known better but he never expected for whatever he and Brendon had to end; and he never imagined that it would end days before the final leg of their tour.

Three weeks ago, during the downtime before a show, Spencer used to sit across from Brendon and make faces at him, trying to get him to break harmony. Eventually Ryan would say something pissy because Ryan thrived off of the slight agitation he had before every show. Now, Brendon stands parallel to Spencer to ensure no eye contact-- it's funny how things can change in such little time. During the practice of a new cover song Brendon's voice breaks on the line 'you're my mistake' when his and Spencer's eyes meet, creating this uncomfortable moment of silence among the four of them. To stay in the room after that is too much for Spencer so he leaves.

The first opening band, Fatally Sever Motion, is completely atrocious. They're so bad it's as if embracing tackiness is their ultimate goal. The singer slurs more than he sings -- not in the intentionally difficult way, but more like the constantly drunken method; their guitarist is either completely stoned or the only semi-functional zombie Spencer's ever seen. They are less of a band and more like five people with completely unrelated motives sharing space.  For Spencer, the 'highpoint' is an impromptu duel between their keytarist, one of the most intimidatingly attractive women he's ever encountered, and the bass player, some tall guy dancing on obscenity charges with how he strokes his instrument and eyes the crowd like he wants to consume them. Riding the duo's rhythm, Spencer unintentionally drums out an accompanying beat with his hands. During one of his spins, the bassist jerks when he meets Spencer's eyes; they maintain eye contact for a complete four count.

Spencer leaves before the band finishes its set because he can only tolerate so much uncoordinated music and he has to prepare for his own band's set. The show that night is standard: they've been doing this long enough to know the proper method.

It's three days later, during their next tour stop, when Spencer edges out of their dressing room again. Before he can fully exit Ryan shifts his eyes toward him. Spencer's only response is to rush out the door.

The band's performance isn't any better the second time Spencer watches them. There is one difference: only the singer, guitarist, and keytarist are on stage. Spencer refuses to recognize the slight disappointment resting in his arms.

'Miss me?' a voice says from behind him, while a hand reaches into his pocket to take his headband.

After turning around, Spencer sees the bassist smirking at him and using Spencer's stolen headband to mop the sweat off his face. 'Your band is um...' begins Spencer.

'Fucking horrible. That band is fucking horrible.' The bassist grins and shakes Spencer's hand in a tight, sweaty grip. 'I'm Gabriel Saporta,' he says with a wink, 'but everyone I like calls me Gabe. And you?'

'Spencer Smith. Um, don't you need to be out there?'

'Nope. The drummer is missing, so tonight is an improvised performance. Like I said, they're horrible.'

'Aren't you part of that band?' asks Spencer, causing Gabe to chuckle.

'Fuck, no. Do you really not know who I am?' he asks with a raised brow.

'Am I supposed to? I don't really follow entertainment news,' Spencer says. ' We've been on tour for close to a year now and it's sort of a vortex for anything not tour related.'

Gabe shifts his weight and runs his hand through his hair. 'No, I'm not in this band,' he says in a more serious tone. ' I'm researching a role for a film. It's a standard sex, drugs, and rock & roll; perfect for me because I happen to be a connoisseur of all three. My girl, Vicky-T, lets me show off my mad bass skills and experience the 'real' rock star lifestyle.'

'Well,' Gabe says, motioning to a shirtless, skinny dude taking his place behind the drum set, ' it seems the drummer has miraculously appeared. That's my cue to get on stage. We should do this again.'

Spencer watches Gabe saunter up to the keytarist and lick her shoulder; he contemplates staying for the end of the show but he spies Zack signaling him to get back to his dressing room.

At 3 am Spencer concedes his defeat to insomnia and goes out to the lounge. Despite this being the shortest leg of this tour, Spencer is already tired of it. He misses his kitchen, his dogs, his mom, actually having to visit Ryan instead of him being an arms' length away, his solitude, and the snap of new pleasure he used to get every time he picked up his drumsticks. The constant motion and closed quarters of the bus have always fatigued him, but this growing apathy towards all the 'extras' of touring is just a part of this constant background dissatisfaction he possesses with his entire life. Spencer has always considered the quarter life crisis thing to be a joke, or something Brendon or Ryan would fall into, but here he was on his tour bus restless with everything and he was just twenty-five.

'Can't sleep?' Brendon questions, interrupting Spencer's musings.

Hoping Brendon will just go away, Spencer doesn't bother removing his hands from his eyes to acknowledge him.  'Is there something you want?' he asks.  Peeking through his fingers, Spencer can see Brendon shifting his weight in some lackadaisical imitation of a shuffle, a nervous gesture Spencer's mostly familiar with from their early band days or, more recently, three weeks ago when Brendon told him that they needed to have a talk.

'You know that Shane and I aren't together, right?' Brendon asks.

'You know that you and I aren't together, right?' says Spencer, mimicking Brendon. 'So who you are with is really not my concern anymore.'

'Spencer, you promised you wouldn't let us ending affect the band, but---'

'Christ, Brendon, don't overestimate your importance,' Spencer says with a huff, wishing he had just stayed in his bunk.

'Fine.' Brendon's expression closes off and whatever looseness existing in his stance immediately vanishes. 'You've been a dick. Ever since we've started this part of the tour, you act like you can barely tolerate being around any of us. You're always hiding in your bunk and you keep on disappearing before shows. You don't talk to anyone: me, Jon, not even Ryan.'

After Brendon finishes listing all of his faults, Spencer's desire to sleep intensifies. Maybe he should thank Brendon for being his personal cure for insomnia. Instead he says, 'Good night Brendon,' and leaves him in the dark in some juvenile attempt at revenge.

Brendon's late night verbal sneak attack has its desired effect: for the next two tour dates, Spencer hangs around their dressing room and misses Gabe's performance. He's stretched out in a corner on the couch, tapping out the beat next to Jon's head to some random song, when Zack comes in with a puzzled expression. 'Spencer,' he says before he tosses the headband Gabe stole from him at Spencer's head. Shaking it open, Spencer's hit with the familiar combination of dried sweat and expensive cologne; he shakes it again just to make sure there aren't any surprises hidden in it.

'I didn't realize you were so attached to your headband,' says Jon, pointing at the involuntary smile on Spencer's face. As a response, Spencer knees Jon in the back, stuffs the headband in his pocket, and leaves to warm up for the show.

The show that night is one of their best since they've started the final part of this tour. Spencer notices Gabe backstage, it does more to him than he expected.

In celebration, Brendon and Jon convince Spencer and Ryan to 'shun their old man ways' and go to a club with them. Spencer fully intends to stay with the guys, squeeze into a booth with Ryan and mock Jon dancing, and maybe dance on Zack for laughs; but on his way to get a drink, a bright purple hoodie registers in his peripheral vision. It's not as much of a decision to ditch his band as it is a decision to follow Gabe to another floor.

'Two years,' Gabe yells over the music.

Spencer would try to tell Gabe that he can't hear him but he's never been one for yelling. Instead, he tugs Gabe towards the closest door.

'It's been two years,' repeats Gabe, picking up the earlier conversation.

'Two years since what?'

'Since I've been out of the center.'

'Do you think this is the right topic of conversation to have at a club?' asks Spencer. He's not going to mention that it's been less than two weeks since they've met; but Spencer's never been sure of the protocol concerning social interactions.

'Yes, I do because it's the conversation that I want to have,' says Gabe. 'You're supposed to have a plant first, something minor to show that you can care for something besides yourself. So my mom bought me a cactus, I know, how easy could it get, but after three months it died. That wasn't my fault. My dad left open a window and their poodle knocked the cactus out the window. Second, you're supposed to get a pet and have it live for at least a year---I have a cobra, called The Cobra, that my live in leech, Nate, takes care of while I'm away. Do you follow me?'

'First a plant then a pet,' Spencer says, causing Gabe to smirk.

'Exactly. And now I'm on the third 'p', a person.' He takes a step closer to Spencer, creating this exchange of heat between them. It makes him want to simultaneously draw closer and shy away.

'We should get back inside, it's freezing out here,' says Spencer, breaking whatever bubble that has formed around them.

'Ok, I don't think I'm wrong about this,' Gabe warns before he pulls Spencer's hand out of his pocket. He scrawls a number on it with neon orange lipstick and presses his lips to Spencer's wrist before releasing him with a wink. 'These are my digits; they'll only last until they melt. Everyone knows the best things are temporary,' he says before disappearing behind an unmarked door.

Spencer does not contact Gabe before a week has passed since he's last seen him. Though Spencer continues to watch the opening acts to curb his boredom, he can admit he misses the horrific spectacle that was Fatally Sever Motion. It's more of a spontaneous urge that forces him to type out hi? before his better sense can stop him. Two hours later, Gabe replies with miss my sexyback, forcing Spencer to apologize for laughing during one of the dramatic death scenes of Ryan's current favorite foreign film.

After the first messages, they never stop texting, sometimes they even call each other. Often Gabe calls him to sing snatches from some off Broadway show he's performing in, or to leave him messages full of Gabe singing Justin Timberlake songs. During another of Spencer's bouts of insomnia, Gabe sends him a link entitled 'Maybe You've Heard of My New Religion.' When Spencer opens it, he finds a host of pages describing Gabe's earlier exploits. He blithely scrolls to a fan page chronicling Gabe's child star days in some Menudo ripoff and his appearances in various telenovelas; apparently Gabe possessed a strong fan following in Texas. Spencer can't even finish reading the article about some drug fueled orgy on Gabe's twenty-first birthday. As a reply to Gabe's info dump, Spencer sends him a text saying you don't scare me. One thing he's learned from past relationships: too much too soon often leads to too little when you're ready for more. He is not pushing anything this time.

The tour ends. Ryan already has plans to be with Keltie in New York for an indefinite amount of time; Jon declares his intention to lock himself and Cassie in their apartment for at least two weeks; and Brendon was running off to help with The Cab's latest album. Spencer's only plan is to go home and sleep.

Being home is different, not better, than being on tour for Spencer. The last time he was in Vegas, he and Brendon camped out for a week in Spencer's house having sex in every room and watching late night cartoon marathons.  Everything had felt perfect until Brendon waited until two days before starting the last part of their tour to explain to Spencer how 'it wasn't working, and I want it to work so bad. I'm sorry.'

It's near midnight when he grabs his phone to start texting Gabe.

At 4 a.m. Gabe texts him with love is a battlefield and Spencer replies back with we are young!, but Gabe's text persists in Spencer's mind so he sends Gabe a jumbled paragraph back after getting slightly tipsy:

sometimes love is a retreat, a sojurn to safer ground sometiems it dies and mutates into this other version---sometimes it ends b/c it needs to

When he wakes up three hours later, he tries to believe it was all some messed up dream but his message history tells him different; and his inbox has no new messages from Gabe. He spends most of the next day stomping petulantly around his silent house, alienating his dogs, and ignoring phone calls. Eventually his sister shows up with a stern warning to show up for dinner tomorrow night or incur his mother's wrath.

It's during the time when madness reigns and all the sated, happy people are asleep (4:30 a.m.) when Spencer decides to call Gabe to explain away his latest gaffe. Before he can do that he checks his voice mail and hears the following message: Hey. Spencer Smith. Sorry I didn't get back to you. I'm writing some music and your last message fueled some lyrics. He sounds more drained than Spencer feels; and the message is just ten minutes old, so maybe Gabe would welcome a call.

'Busy with things?' asks Spencer after Gabe picks up after two rings.

'This fucking movie. There's barely enough money to finish it; we have a few scenes left that we can't even complete because there is no money. It sucks because this is the one role I've had that isn't some kind of joke. But what should I expect from the recent shit storm that's typified everything lately?' Gabe sighs and Spencer can visualize him leaning his head against the wall in mid-collapse.

'How much do you need? Because I could---'

'Did I ask you for money? No, just no,' says Gabe, cutting off Spencer.

Spencer starts pacing in his kitchen. 'Gabe, I just want to help. I though we were friends, or close to it.'

Gabe's raspy breathing is the only sound over the phone for a full minute. If Spencer closes his eyes he can almost smell the tobacco always clinging to Gabe's scent.

'If you want to help,' Gabe says, 'then come here. I've been waiting for close to a month to get my hands on you.'

'Did you intend for that to sound as creepy as it did?' Spencer laughs and he doesn't even care that he must have one of the most stupid grins ever on his face--he's kind of getting used to unfiltered hilarity when it comes to Gabe.

'Just come. I want you,' whispers Gabe before he hangs up.

Spencer goes.